糖心原创

Learning that someone you care about has experienced a sexual assault can be very difficult for you.听 It鈥檚 hard to watch someone you care about in emotional and/or physical pain.听 You may have difficulty in knowing what to say or do, or in accepting your feelings.听 In situations where survivors disclose the assault to someone, 2 out of 3 tell a friend first.听 The way you respond can have a huge impact on your friend鈥檚 healing process and on your relationship.听 If someone tells you they were sexually assaulted or experienced any unwanted sexual contact, there are two things you need to think about: how you can support the survivor, and how you can take care of yourself. 听

Supporting a Survivor

Believe them鈥攎any survivors are afraid they won鈥檛 be believed, and it takes a great deal of courage share an experience of sexual assault or unwanted sexual contact.
Listen with compassion and without judgment.

Stay calm鈥攜ou may have many different feelings, but staying calm gives the survivor space to control the conversation.

Provide information鈥攖here are many resources available on campus and in the community to help victims/survivors of sexual assault.听 This list of commonly asked questions may help you feel better informed and confident in the information you provide.

Let the survivor make their own decisions鈥攜ou can provide information about options, but what to do and who to tell is always the survivor鈥檚 choice, even if you disagree with the decisions being made.

Respect the person鈥檚 privacy鈥攖he decision to tell someone about sexual assault is very personal and it is the survivor鈥檚 choice to tell whomever they choose.

Help establish safety鈥攐ffer to stay with the person, accompany them to a safe place, and always ask before touching or hugging the survivor.

Be patient鈥攖here is no timetable for healing.

Supportive things you can say鈥斺�淭his is not your fault鈥�, 鈥淣o one deserves this鈥�, 鈥淚 am sorry this happened to you鈥�, 鈥淚 believe you鈥�, 鈥淭hank you for telling me鈥�, 鈥淚 will support your choices鈥�, 鈥淵ou are not alone鈥�, 鈥淲hat can I do to help?鈥�, 鈥淚s there anyone you鈥檇 like me to call?鈥�, 鈥淚 can go with you to CWS/the hospital/a reporting center鈥�, 鈥淵ou can tell me as much or as little as you want to鈥�.

Sometimes after a trauma, a survivor has thoughts of suicide as a way to end the suffering they are experiencing.听 If the survivor mentions suicide, take it seriously.听 Listen carefully, and then seek help immediately. Help can be found at CWS (937-775-3407), Raider Cares (855-327-9151), University Police (937-775-2111), local police (911), or a local hospital.
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Supporting Yourself

It can be easy to dismiss your own feelings when someone you care about is going through a difficult time or has experienced a trauma, but you and your wellbeing matter.听 Finding ways to care for yourself as you care for others helps you be a better support person.听 These are suggestions that may help you manage stress and improve your resilience:

• Maintain your regular life routines and schedule
• Use coping strategies that were helpful to you in the past
• Be accepting of your feelings
• Get enough rest
• Take time to relax
• Take time for yourself
• Make plans to spend time with other people
• Exercise
• Eat healthy meals
• Use your support system
• Talk to someone鈥攍earning about someone else鈥檚 trauma can be very impactful.听 You may find that you are experiencing disbelief, anger, sadness, guilt, anxiety, confusion, fear, or any number of emotions. This can disrupt your life, making it difficult to concentrate, maintain your normal routines, or causing nightmares.听 Support is available to you, too, at Counseling and Wellness Services (937-775-3407).听 You can respect the person鈥檚 privacy and get the support you need in order to cope with what鈥檚 happened